.:.Shadows of the Past.:.

"Palan, why do you always look at me like that?" her question caught the tall bronze rider by surprise. He turned abruptly from his persusal of his klah mug to stare at her comically. "Considering I hadn't been looking at you, what exactly do you mean?" Shazi shifted in her chair and rested her chin lightly on her hands. "Like at hatchings, and talk of leaderships, you look all quiet and broody..well...more so then usual." Palan frowned a little at that, but continued to sip his klah without comment. Unperturbed, Shazi continued. "Makes me think you've got something big on your mind, mayhap about leaving, care to share?" she said, tilting her head to the side. This time she really got his attention as the mage turned dragonrider sputtered.

Late afternoon crept up on the Weyr with a stealthiness worthy of Eien's most elite assassin, and in the light of the dying sun Shazi sat by the seashore, going over in her mind and in the sand the plan she and Palan had drafted between them about thier departure. After coming back to square one for the fourth time, Shazi sighed heavily and tossed the stick she had been drawing with away, leaning back on her towel, content for the moment to think of nothing.

Shazi's eyes flared open at her dragons reprimand, but before she could respond the dragoness had drifted off to sleep again, leaving her rider fuming as the sound of footsteps reached her ears. Sitting up Shazi turned to see who was coming and managed a tight smile when she realized it was one of the flight's participants, nightrider Van'el. Inwardly she grimaced, before this, she had been tentative friends with the young man, but she knew he didn't want to be in this flight, and that had strained relations between them, hopefully his Danath would drop out and spare his rider what was to come. he surprised her though when he came to a stop next to her and sat down on the sand heavily. "Bright skies Van'el, can I help you with something?" she asked gently, noting his unease. He only shook his head at first, silver eyes intent on the sunset. Then he spoke "No, this is more my helping myself and finally standing up to that tyrant of a night dragon." he said glumly, not meeting her eyes. "Danath, he..he made a mistake. We shouldn't be here, in this other time. We have to return to our own, and the problems that are ours and ours alone." Then a ghost of a smile crossed his handsome features. "much as you to must do."

Shazi started, then covered it with a shrug. "Your right, to an extent, but we will be staying here for a little longer, thankyou for telling me directly of your withdrawal. I appreciate it, clear skies nightrider." she said simply, standing and offering him a hand. he took it gingerly and levered himself up, watching her for a moment before inclining his head. "Clear skies queenrider, may we see each other again on better terms." he said softly. Shazi smiled at him and nodded, "Aye, I believe we will." then she turned and sat back down as he smiled in return and walked away But then her sun-gold eyes were distant again as she watched the waves.

Suddenly Shazi was jerked back to reality as the piercing shriek of a queen flew through the moist air like a thunderclap, ringing in her ears even after she scrambled to her feet and took off at a dead run towards the weyr. Her mind reasoned that this was a misunderstanding of some kind between a queen and an unknown dragon who was visiting and stole her ledge. But her heart knew differently, and she was terribly afraid that for once her heart was right as she scanned the skies and ridges and saw several pairs of bronze and brown wings flaring in response to the call. Then a shadow fell across her face as one of the dragons took wing, looking up she recognized Seidoshokuth, without thinking she mindcalled her dragon trying to figure out what was going on, but she got only anger, rage and an insatiable bloodlust from the light golden queen as her frantic query fell on deaf ears.

Running now, Shazi raced headlong into A’nor, but before she fell, the tall bronze rider caught and steadied her. He said something, probably meant to be reassuring, but looking up at him, she cringed away, unable stand what was going to happen. No, no, no! This can’t be happening now. Her turbulent thoughts must have melded with Akyth’s, because the pale golden queen seemed to pulse brighter, and lashed out at one of the browns, just missing a deep gash as the dragon scurried away. “Get away” from me! “Now!” The simultaneous scream resounded through both chill air and mind, freezing all but one of the male suitors. Bronze Seidoshokuth merely watched Akyth closely, only a slight twitch in his tail and a buzz in his wings betraying his readiness as he waited for his rider’s word and the queens signal. A’nor drew back from Shazi warily now. Appalled the goldrider came back to herself, hands over her mouth in shock and denial. “Oh gods A’nor I’m sorry, I…” she trailed off and started to tremble as the dragons bugled, the paralysis broken as Akyth soared overhead, hide flashing in the dying light as she swept towards the feeding grounds. Taking these events for simple inexperience, A’nor reached a hand out to her, hoping to comfort her. “Shazi, is this your first?” he asked as gently as he could, though his bronze Kayuth’s passion and lust was evident in his eyes. Shazi shook her head furiously, drawing back again as she fought down tears of frustration and denial. “no, no not at all...gods but he…” she couldn’t finish, and turned away.

“But he is gone and will not return, this you know now, and knew then as well. Remember Shazi, and take control of your life and this flight.” The icy voice laced with contemptible command broke through her near hysteria, strangely buoying her. Her pale eyes flared open in surprise at Palanthalas as the tall elf reached the small group and came to a stop a short distance away, within hearing range. “Give her room A’nor, this is her choice, not ours.” He continued calmly, looking away. The others saw the sense in that and stepped back, though Shazi could still feel their desire mounting as the dragons hum intensified. “Palan, will Sei give chase? Will you?” the question was out before she could think about it, and for a moment she thought his cool façade would fracture as he turned back and his eyes brightened, a hint of sympathy and even yearning flickering in the golden depths. But it didn’t fracture, and he turned away again. “We shall see, remember everything you were taught Shazi.”

Suddenly she couldn’t see him, couldn’t see the others, she felt hot blood streaming down her throat, and whirled to see that Akyth had already blooded a beast unbidden and was launching herself at another. Shazi slowly kneeled in the swirling dust of the bowel as the other great queens took flight, as one disappearing into the sunset. Around her she felt the press of male bodies as one by one they lost themselves in their dragons passion. Looking up her frantic eyes met Palan’s and stayed there, pleading with him to do something, anything. “I’m not ready for this” she whispered softly looking down when he finally looked away. Far beyond in the feeding pens, Akyth roared, challenging the gathering males, her pale golden hide gleaming in the dying sun as she spread luminous wings, fanning them gently and chortling as a brown took flight, thinking she had launched herself.

Palan watched Shazi with impassive eyes, noting as her eyes glazed over and her body tensed slowly in a fervor dragon-induced. In the back of his mind, Seidoshokuth was buzzing with anticipation, pressuring his rider to join with him, and experience this flight to the fullest as once again Akyth fanned her wings, arching her neck coyly and tensed, ready to fly. But Palan only drew a deep breath in response, settling his frayed nerves as he resisted the urge to physically chase the men away from the goldrider, silently sending a prayer to the gods that she would survive this. He knew what it was she endured, the pressure one felt when destiny lay a heavy load across already fragile shoulders. Knew also what it was to loose the one person who you could trust with your deepest desires and innermost secrets.

And as golden wings lifted and took the queen airborne, Palan felt his spirit lifting with her, sailing high on bronze wings as, for the first time, he gave himself over to the passion, relinquishing his iron control in favor of the sweet bliss he had only seen echoed in the eyes of others.

They were a sly group of suitors, of that Akyth was certain. All of them had flown in flights before and knew what to expect, so she did not waste herself with evasive maneuvers, instead she kept just out of reach, letting them strain to catch her, not she straining to evade them. Yes, she would set the pace this time, and she would see who was really worthy, both of herself and her rider. The golden queen sorted softly in amusement at her own cleverness, tilting her head back to see who was where, noticing for the first time that they had divided into two groups, with the biggest of them all, bronze Seidoshokuth, trailing behind the last group which consisted of brown Neterth and bronze Kayuth. In the lead, or what was considered the lead, was bronze Jumerth and one of Falas’ many browns.

Turning back around Akyth stretched her wings and caught a weak thermal, using it to pick up both altitude and speed. Behind her, Jumerth and the Falasian brown also picked up speed, with Jumerth slowly drawing closer. Playfully, Akyth slowed down enough to let the bronze catch up with her, only to barrel roll out of the way at the last moment, causing him to overshoot her. Crowing she soared upwards, as the big bronze sought to make up for lost time as the others males swept by him. Now trailing, Jumerth still kept chasing doggedly, though he knew his chance was gone.

However, slowing down for Jumerth also gave the other brown an opening to make the catch, and with another quick aerial acrobatic maneuver Akyth avoided him as well, snorting as the brown spiraled away, followed eventually by Jumerth. Her snort of derision turned to a bugle of surprise when she felt strong talons lock around her wing joints. Twisting mid air Akyth wretched herself free and roared at Neterth, pumping her wings furiously to get away from the brown dragon. Surprised but not to be outdone, the last remaining brown dragon swept after her, only to be passed by both Kayuth and Seidoshokuth. For a few wing beats the brown stayed aloft, straining to pick up speed as the gold and her remaining suitors pulled farther away. But then even he admitted defeat and spiraled down to the comfort of his rider.

Feeling herself beginning to tire, Akyth looked back, amused to see Seidoshokuth still in this flight. But struck by the need to mate, she tilted her wings and angled herself above the two straining bronze forms, crooning coquettishly, daring either to make a move for her. Kayuth bugled back, taken by her ploy, and soared upwards, obviously hoping to entangle his wings with hers. But Akyth wasn’t quite ready to be won yet, and merely swept away, crowing her superiority.

But the move brought her too close to Seidoshokuth, and in a lightning fast move that belied his big frame, the bronze drew her close, wings fouling with hers as their bodies twinned. Startled Akyth fanned her wings to remain airborne as Sei did the same, but by then, the flight was over and she relaxed in the bronzes grasp, crooning gently as they soared higher.

Shazi came to herself in a flare of passion that sent her reeling into the strong arms of the bronze’s rider, her cry of startlement and panic muffled against his chest. Patiently he waited as she slowly came to her senses, only releasing her when he knew she could stand on her own. “Shazi, are you alright?” The words, completely lacking any lust or sexual desire dispelled the last of the goldrider’s panic as she let the tears fall unchecked down her cheeks, letting her pent up sorrow finally spill out. “Gods, no I’m not alright.” She gasped, burying her face in her hands as she drew away from Palan. He let her go, standing quietly in the darkness as he waited.

Drawing a shuddering breath Shazi finally looked in his general direction, getting the sudden uncanny feeling he could see her clearly while she could scarcely see even his darker outline against the dim glowlight. “That would be because I can see you clearly sænna.” He said calmly to her unspoken words as he drew closer, gently wrapping a blanket about her bare shoulders. “And I see that you are cold, heart-sore, and in need of a friend…and a lover” the last was said hesitantly, as if he wasn’t quite sure of his words. Numbly Shazi nodded, warmly slightly at his mention of ‘lover’ knowing that was exactly what he had been, even if his dragon had been in charge, as hers had. “Ah, maybe.” She stammered, allowing him to lead her towards the bed, where in a very un-Palan like manner he joined her under the blanket and gently wrapped her in his arms and drew her close. “Relax, you know I will not do such things as that rider at Monaco did.” He whispered, kissing her lightly on the top of her head. Shivering in remembrance, she tensed but did not pull away.

“Palan, is this real? Are you sure about all of this? About us?” In response he sighed, arms tightening slightly around her. Yes sænna, I am sure. For once, very sure, both of myself and my destiny. And it is closely intertwined with yours. His mindvoice, usually cool and unaffected, was warm and slightly rough, as if he hadn’t used it in awhile. Drawing a deep breath Shazi snuggled closer to him, taking in the strong scent of dragon and pine trees that cloaked him like a shroud. “That so.” She whispered back, all of her previous apprehension fading. Prove it. She had meant it jokingly, but his answering nuzzle at the base of her throat, while playful, was very serious. And as he slowly worked his way down, she gasped, he was very serious.

And quite splendid to boot. So without any further thought of the past, the future, or even the present beyond the minute she lived, Shazi gave herself over to the emotions welling up within her, giving herself to this man, this killer turned dragonrider, who had completely turned her life, and that of everyone he met, upside down. “Palan.” She gasped, hands buried in his silver hair. Golden eyes blinked open lazily to regard her questioningly. “Hmm?” he asked, voice muffled by the folds of the bed furs. She smiled then, her hands trailing down to caress his face. I love you. At that he smiled a true smile, and bent over to kiss her lovingly. And I you sænna, forever until the day even eternity ends.